yea its me sujana kebaboom boom boom. i havent been writing for what feels like century but its only 4 months i think heheh. honestly i dont have time to write okay and when i do something a little mooooore interesting shows up so how am i am supposed to write? okay imagine a silly sad face here so you can feel me a bit. okay i know i said that if you really want to do something, you'll make time for it. i know i know, dont bite too hard it hurts. so okay, i think this is going to be a rather long post. but for someone who havent been writing, lets see how long it goes...
****
Sekretariat Festival Konvokesyen ke-11.
i still remember how much i wanted to be in this team. i remember going to the interview by myself, begging a friend to drive for me. brought nothing but courage and determination. i wanted it so much that everyday i told myself that i am willing to sacrifice my sem break. those who knows me, know how precious being home is for me. even abah was quite shock with my decision. but i wanted it so much. friends start to scare me with allowance sikit, kerja berat cuti takleh balik, kelas kena tinggal. EVERY SINGLE PERSON starts to scare me. but i still wanted it so much. that when i was invited into the group whatsapp, i cried a bit. mostly because i got scared and partly because i was so happy. my mum once said, benda yang kita naaaaak sangat sangat, kadang kadang tak baik untuk kita so i was wondering if my decision to be a part of this team, was not a good decision.
but still, i pack my bag and join the team building camp. i told myself that this is my moment. that i got lucky and this is it, the time i might be able to make a difference. so i gave all of myself there, i let me, become free. no one knows me, so nothing could hold me back. the night before we got home, i was assigned as Setiausaha 1 which heaven knows how shock i was. i wasnt expecting it. i betul betul nak jadi exco tajaan je masa tu. and hell no, sepanjang berorganisasi i paling benci kat MT sebab i rasa MT ni macam takde kerja keluarkan arahan pastu gelak gelak sana sini je hahahahah and now i am part of the MT lol lah sujana hahah. i call my dad and told him how much i hated it. hahah but abah told me bila orang percaya kat kita, kita ada satu tanggungjawab untuk pastikan percayaan orang terhadap kita tu betul. i pegang cakap abah,
so i decided that im not gonna be the typical MT ive worked with before. tugas Setiausaha 1, aku galas. but im not any good. i didnt remember much of how i reacted to my task during semester 4 which is the phase after the team building camp. but in that phase i wasnt really into this team yet. it was when we were instructed to gather at bumita for gerak kerja right after raya. i was depressed! my sister just delivered her second baby and she was still in pantang. i took care of her when she gave birth to her first baby and got very close to Aca but i never get the chance to manja manja with Athif and me being sentimental aunty got depressed. but still i balik perlis with hope. Sorry Athif, forgive Aunty okay? I love you no matter what i swear to God.
long story short, work piled up! and im no good! hahah i keep on making mistakes, so i got yelled and kena sindir and i got scared hahaha mind you i have a very soft heart. kena jentik sikit i nangis okay. hahahah so i cried a lot sampai satu tahap i jadi down and rasa macam taknak buat kerja. EH JAP PEMBETULAN I TAK PERNAH NANGIS OKAY OKBYE. hmm so i go here and there cari semangat. i exercised a lot kononnya nak release stress hahah but my team was the best team. they did everything to cheer me up. who i am today, without these people whose willing to walk side by side with me. they lift me up when i cant stand on my own. i swore i wasnt strong at all. i got weak so easily i hated myself for that.
i selalu marah pengarah i, i cakap kat dia kenapa ambik i jadi SU. tapi ijat selalu cakap dia yakin dengan i sebab tu dia pilih i hahaha i rasa dia dengan keyakinan dia boleh masuk longkang (masa tu lah). i dont know why but every time i tried to recall anything regarding FESTKON11, i got emotional. mungkin sebab penuh jiwa raga aku bagi untuk FESTKON11. and now its done so whats next i dont even know. the journey wasnt easy. but it changed me. for a girl whom will koyak with one yell, now it took me 20 yells before i breakdown hahah. for someone yang malu nak buat itu ini, now i yang pergi depan bila tengok orang lain malu. for someone who detested driving, now i can afford 40 minutes drive at 11 pm on my own. and for a daughter who calls her dad three times a day, now my dad would ws me and asked if he can call aaaaaa im so bad hahahaah so abah :( but im not busy anymore ill continue to be your clingy daughter okay. i changed a lot and i like it. from zero, we all changed.
but honestly, the journey wasnt all pain and sufferings. we make friends, we become bunch of positive people, we become those who believe that obstacle wont stop miracle. we become family of different liking. we learn to change the way we reacted to possibilities. i am proud of Team FESTKON11. korang takkan jumpa team sehebat ni kat mana mana. Pengarah kami, pengarah terbaik. pengarah kami ajar saya yang pengorbanan tu mahal, sebab tu tak ramai orang boleh beli. pengarah kami ajar saya, pemimpin yang hebat tu tak pernah berehat. pengarah kami ajar saya banyak pasal keyakinan dan jadi kuat. pengarah kami jugak selalu lupa yang saya ni perempuan sebab bila saya nangis dia cakap, eh nangis macam perempuan hahaha.
tak pernah dibuat orang Festival Konvo buat masa cuti sem. tapi crowd kita padu. tak sia sia tebalkan muka duduk kat pasar malam bagi flyers, tak sia sia menari kat tengah tengah cmart dan giant nak promote punya pasal. tak sia sia nangis tengah tengah malam sebab takut program tak smooth. tak pernah dibuat orang Festival Konvo buat masa krew dengan sekretariat sibuk nak midterm exam, tapi sekretariat dan krew kita padu. masih mampu bagi komitmen dan masih mampu tersenyum walaupun kena bash dengan lecturer dan classmates. mana nak jumpa team macam team saya?
there is so many things that i wanted to write but my tears wont stop falling and i hate saying things like im saying goodbye because this isnt goodbye. our team and tetap family sampai bila bila! insyaAllah jika panjang umur kita hehe.
sekian,
Setiausaha 1 FESTKON11 letak jawatan.
alhamdulillah.
F A M I L Y, that's how we grow ❤
ReplyDelete